Bradley Barnes (a.k.a. The Paperwork Phantom)

🎬 Scene:
[Senator]: "Mr. Barnes, can you explain why it takes 17 years to approve a simple business license?"
[Barnes] (smugly adjusting glasses): "Well, per the pre-approval framework of the iterative review system, under subsection beta-three, the jurisdictional redundancies must first undergo a multi-phase—"
📢 [On-Screen Text]: GOVERNMENT TRANSLATION ERROR. SYSTEM OVERLOAD.
⏳ 12 minutes later
[Senator]: "…I…I need a nap."
📢 [On-Screen Text]: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. NOTHING ACHIEVED.
🎶 [Cue overly dramatic hero music.]